Let mindfulness allow you to be perfectly imperfect

perfectly-imperfect-with-mindfulness.jpg
 

DO YOU HAPPEN TO be a perfectionist? Poor you! While striving for perfection seems a perfectly noble goal, it is in fact a rather ineffective and exhausting way of living your life. Mindfulness helps you to kiss your perfectionism goodbye and allows you to grow emotionally, turning you in a more balanced and loveable person.

Where does perfectionism come from?

The deeper root of perfectionism is always the fear of not being good enough and getting rejected by family or friends. This goes deeper than feeling as if your achievements aren’t good enough. Perfectionists are convinced that they, as a person, aren’t good enough. This belief usually starts to develop when they are growing up – maybe they receive a lot of criticism from their parents or caretakers, or maybe they make themselves dependent on the approval of others.

The plusses of perfectionism

For many years I have been a perfectionist, but I must admit that it wasn’t all bad news. My strict discipline encouraged me to be always better than others and do my work extremely well. Later in life this granted me good money, status and appreciation.

The downside of perfection

But as soon as I was introduced to mindfulness, I started to look at my perfectionism with a growingly critical eye… then rapidly kissed it good-bye! I could see that it not only had brought me success, but fears and disorders as well. In all those years of strict perfectionism, I hardly got out of my comfort zone, too afraid to fail… In the world of perfectionism failing must be avoided at all means! And so I never started to write the novel I was dreaming of my whole life, because what if it wouldn’t be a bestseller and I would be uncovered as the loser of the century?

And so perfectionism clasped me firmly in her iron fists and kept me from discovering new possibilities and developing my writing talent. Apart from that, perfectionism caused so much stress that I could never do my work in a relaxed way. In hindsight I wonder if I maybe could have enjoyed more success, money and status if I had’t been chronically stressed… And what’s the value of success, money and status if you always force yourself to overachieve and you’re never really happy with the results simply because you could have done better if you’d pushed yourself harder?

Perfectionism doesn’t make for a perfect you

No matter how admirable perfectionism might seem, do realise that it’s limiting you in your personal development. Perfectionism is the fear of not being good enough.

And because of this fear – and this is the paradox you need to understand – you are not the best you can be.

We learn from mistakes. As soon as we allow ourselves to fail, we allow ourselves to grow as a person. If you only want to do everything perfectly, therefor avoid risk and always play if safe… you’ll never be able to discover new possibilities within yourself.

Allow yourself growth

I have completed Faith And Fearlessness and wow, what a sensation to have my debut novel in my hands! Thanks to mindfulness I was able to shed my stifling perfectionism and write without the fear of failing. Of course I make mistakes, but it’s the only way to learn and grow. I now see that it’s the only way to develop my writing style. When letting go of perfectionism and developing your talents, don’t allow yourself to be intimidated by the fact that you’ll make mistakes. But be courageous, take that new step, accept that you’ll make mistakes and that you’ll learn from them. You’ll find that it will only make you stronger and add interesting layers to your personality!

Keep growing,
Marisa x

P.S. Would you like to learn how to let go of perfectionism and live a more relaxed life? Then buy my digital Karma Kickstart course. You don't have to learn to meditate, but you can start right away with super practical exercises which adapt easily to your everyday routines. With my approach you don't have to plan or schedule – you simply practise with your daily tasks.

So buy Karma Kickstart today and make that inner shift.

 
Arjan van Woensel