How to improve a stressful relation with mindfulness
BEFORE I LEARNED HOW to apply mindfulness in my daily life, I often felt utterly frustrated because of an annoying friend, an unreliable neighbour or a demanding client. Naturally, I was totally convinced that my discontentment was being caused by those others, surely not by me!
Relation stress is caused by you… not by others
But as soon as I started to study and learn mindfulness, I could see that a huge part of my frustrations were mainly caused by my own attitude, not really by the behaviour of that other person.
So it was all my fault… ouch! Nevertheless I considered that discovery to be a huge relief, simply because it meant that I could do something about it.
From then on I started to apply all the principles of mindfulness – such as accepting, letting go, non-judging, trusting – to my relations, and watched how all the stress which I had been experiencing in the past, disappeared. The people in my life suddenly became a lot nicer and more interesting than before :-)
Why mindfulness makes such a difference
The beauty of mindfulness is that you are in control. You don’t have to helplessly wait until your friend or mother changes (something that will never happen anyway) but you can change that challenging relationship yourself – by having a good, honest look at your old expectations and judgements, and see that these no longer serve you… after which you can simply ditch them.
When you practise mindfulness, you’ll no longer be the victim of emotional eruptions which damage your relations, but instead you’ll be able to keep a clear mind and decide for yourself if and how you’d like to respond to a certain remark or situation. By allowing mindfulness into your life you create inner peace and you’ll find that you’re a lot less prone to get overwhelmed by intense emotions, like fear, rage or sadness. This is not only a lot healthier for your wellbeing, but also for the relations you have with those who play such an important part in your life.
Practise mindfulness today
1. Choose one of my 10 mindfulness principles
2. Take some time to think about your chosen principle
What does this principle mean to you?
How would you feel if it was you who’d be met with the power of this principle?
How do you think you can apply it?
What would it mean to you if you could successfully apply this principle?
3. Now choose a person in your life who causes irritation or sadness
Resolve to interact with this person today while applying your chosen principle. So today you will accept this person, or see this person with new eyes (start again) or treat this person with patience.
4. Come up with a thought to stick to this principle
It’s this thought that will help you to stick to your chosen principle as soon as you’ll deal with this person. You might use this thought: ‘I allow you to be who you are, I accept you the way you are and act.’
Do not expect miracles after practising once. But do practise this regularly and simply see how this mindful attitude affects your feelings and behaviour, and how it changes the relation between you and that other person.
P.S. Would you like to learn how to create healthy relations? Then buy my digital Karma Kickstart course. You don't have to learn to meditate, but you can start right away with super practical exercises which adapt easily to your everyday routines. With my approach you don't have to plan or schedule – you simply practise with your daily tasks.
So buy Karma Kickstart today and enrich your life with positive relations.